Social media is triggering ‘fear of missing out’ among the youth, precipitating depression and loneliness

In this tech-driven world, one need not be an astrologer nor calculate the position of stars to predict the fact that very soon, the World Health Organization (WHO) will consider declaring FOMO, a pandemic. And seeing the state of our ever-stressful, sleepless, screen-scrolling youth population, it feels like we are already having a silent outbreak of FOMO that is secretly snatching every country's demographic dividend, of its surging youthful energy.

This essay will shed light on this ongoing outbreak of FOMO, how it is silently slaughtering the youths, and what vaccine will be effective against it.

FOMO

To begin with, we must understand what FOMO is. It is an abbreviation of the fear of missing out. It simply means the feeling of being unseen, unheard, unrecognized, and underappreciated. When our youths feel FOMO, they feel like a cockroach in a bungalow, which is uninteresting, unwanted, and not welcome. Just like how this cockroach fears being poisoned and killed, the fear of getting unrecognized makes youths go into a permanent mode of insecurity. Thus, the silent erosion of their youthful contributions to the world is a manifestation of their hidden insecurities driven by the FOMO.

FOMO is more of a modern terminology for age-old human behavior. Even in the old times, people desired to be seen and heard. And such desire is a basic social need for humans. But back then, a small chit-chat with one's family, a cute-tiny gesture to neighbors, and brief tea time with friends were more than enough to satisfy that social need and prevent FOMO.

But with the world’s networks expanding more and more with urbanization and globalization, and AI adding to this mix, such simple mechanisms to satisfy social needs started rusting. The amount of effort required to prevent the influence of demons in FOMO goes proportional to the speed of globalization. And such efforts have taken a steep upright slope with the increasing imprints of social media.

Social media has successfully trapped our all-powerful, genie-like youths into lamp-like, itty-bitty, tiny living spaces on screens. Although it looks like in such tiny spaces, one is getting more connected with someone else miles away, the reality is that such people are already beginning to disconnect from their surrounding society. A mother's love-filled call for dinner feels like an abrupt interruption when chatting with a fake Facebook friend. WhatsApp emoji have already replaced one's real-life, meaningful & nuanced gestures as a means of communication. The TikTok world feels more real for our youths than the real world, which now feels more like a bad dream. And when such a virtual world fails to recognize them, their hopes fall, aspirations shatter, and confidence crumbles.

Virtual Expectations drive FOMO

The virtual world has raised the expectations of our youths to a different height so that anyone falling below is made to feel like a loser, seriously denting their self-esteem. While social media must be credited for increasing awareness among the public, it has also pushed carefully curated contents that can cash the cows in our youths. Its algorithms feed the viewers with not what they need, but what they like. In the case of youths, their desperate desires to be recognized is being weaponized by these codes.

One such desperate desire that gets weaponized is the “success mantra”. The social media has effectively rebranded success in terms of popularity, and further the achievement in terms of wealth and happiness in terms of appreciation. These rebranded values, despite becoming the new means for motivating youths, have also stripped the hard work of its foundational features like consistency, persistence, and patience and redecorated it with instantaneousness.

Truly, this instantaneousness is a disease. It shifts the focus from performing the duty to expecting results. Because of this, youths in every step towards their goal, crave for rewards to the extent that even a fraction of failure becomes extremely painful and creates a perception of as if the world has turned its back on them. This FOMO in turn transforms itself into anxiety and depression, drowning our youths in gloomy loneliness.

Further, expectations also dislike repetition. For example, a similar kind of content posted in SnapChat again will not guarantee as many likes or views as before. This means the validity of any virtual recipe is limited, and sustainability requires reinvention and renovation. When one fails to reinvent, the views fall, the likes disappear, and the re-share button becomes invisible. This crumbles the confidence in our youths, shaking their mental fortitude.

While some droop in depression, others take a wild turn to stay in the limelight. Many content creators turn toxic to stay relevant and capture a wider audience. Their contents start pivoting towards creating sensation through deep fakes and false news, and thus turning even an aspiring patriot into a petty propagandist.

Moreover, social media not only deprives young people of their time to build their relationships, the false narratives sold by these platforms through the dating apps, pornography, and fantasy videos create unrealistic expectations in real-life relationships. When such expectations are unmet, those real-life social relations fall apart, forcing the youths with FOMO syndrome to hide from life.

So, any vaccine against FOMO should address these false expectations to pivot our demographic dividend towards prosperity.

The Vaccine for FOMO

Youths must understand that false expectations induced harm is not an alien attack, but a self-inflicted injury. Thus, any prevention must begin with the self itself. One's self-esteem must not be measured by the yardstick seen in social media posts, but rather be realized through self-realization.

And in such a pursuit of self-discovery, the FOMO must be replaced by the JOMO – joy of missing out. As opposed to feeling alienated, one must see it as a chance to be with one’s self. Such solitary pursuit gives way to introspecting one’s thoughts, hidden feelings and talents. This also trains them to derive happiness and satisfaction from self rather than from other people’s reactions.

Another crucial step is to redefine success. It must be defined in terms of morality, service to others, and persistence. People must condemn dishonest money-making through these social media platforms and withdraw support from it. In contrast, selfless acts of service with persistence must be glorified and celebrated.

Finally, youths must learn to earn relationships through trust and further build it by investing time with their loved ones in real, not in reel. And family and friends help them in this process as this is the first place where one learns social behavior.

To summarize, the FOMO is just an old wine in a new bottle whose sales saw a new peak through social media networks. Its sales are attributed to virtually induced expectations, which have intoxicated our aspiring youths to the extent of pushing them into the realm of lonely depression, breaking their selves. Besides all the warnings, the only way out of this FOMO drink addiction is – self-recovery through self-discovery. 

Do you agree with my take? Do share your comments below!

Just because you have a choice, it does not mean that any of them has to be right

Freedom of choice, or simply called free will, is said to have been a defining character of human civilization since its beginning. And further, the political movements around the world, including the French revolution, Marx’s social revolution, women's movement, recent decade’s LGBTQ movement, etc., all had increased the amount of this freedom to choose one's way of life. While political movements provided with this liberty, the economic movements like rise of capitalism together with techno-globalization has increased the life choices via exposure and accessibility.

But such liberty also comes with a responsibility to make the right choice as just because one is exposed to many choices, it does not automatically mean any of them has to be right. Maybe, most of them could be wrong; sometimes only one could be right; while in other times, more than one could be right.

This essay will help one not only to make the right choice, but also will help to do so when more than one choice looks equally compelling. Let us begin!

Liberty comes with responsibility

In simple, one's life is the summation of choices made in one’s journey. While many choices in our life might be available, not all of them might be right. The karma concept of Vedic religion tries to explain this by stating that whatever is going to happen will be shaped by your present and past actions. That is, “you reap what you sow.”

Thus, it is important for one to choose right with pure responsibility. This can be explained with a simple example. If one chooses to save extra money in bank instead of spending on unnecessary sin goods like tobacco, wine, etc., such choice might come as a saviour in times of crisis. Just like how when people lost their jobs in COVID-19 pandemic, their savings helped them sustain and bounce back.

The free will vests us with a responsibility, that gets magnified when an individual is devolved more power. Just as quoted by Uncle Ben (from Spiderman), “with more power comes more responsibility.” Take in the case of king Ashoka, who was once a bloodthirsty conqueror with the powerful army in the world. Being in such a powerful position, he had many choices including expanding his territory and influence through iron and blood. But he chose to do so with Dhamma (peace) instead. He wanted to conquer people's heart through Buddhism. That responsible choice of such powerful king was the reason for peace for decades in his empire.

In the modern multipolar world order, it becomes the responsibility of the powerful countries to help others in distress. India illustrated this in 1971 war with Pakistan. When the Bangladesh (then East Pakistan) approached India for help, India at least had three options – One, to push-back the refugees as India was not a signatory of 1951 refugee convention. Two, be a bystander by letting Bangladesh suffer. Three, save Bangladesh from Pakistan. While all three options were available, the first two choices, despite India had the right to make, weren’t the right ones to make. By choosing the third option, India not only restored peace in Bangladesh, but also exemplified to the world the responsible decision making.

While the above simplified examples create an illusion of one ethically right option, this is not generally true. In life, often one is compelled to choose between more than one equally right alternatives. That is where one wonders, what to choose?

What if…. all choices are right?

This situation is called an ethical dilemma. The paradox that lies in these ethical dilemmas is that since all the options are equally good or convincing, choosing any one will lead to compromise of the other. That is, one good comes at the cost of the other good!

It is similar to a zero-sum game, where one's gain will affect others. So, no choice is entirely good or bad, and often lies in the grey area leading to dilemma. And such dilemmas are very routine for a policymaker. Take in the case of construction of dam. Here, the policymaker must choose between three options (to keep it simple) – national development, tribal welfare, and environment protection. Choosing one will lead to the compromise of the other.

This is where choosing only one option between black and white isn’t infeasible since all are equally important. While utilitarian perspective will compel one to choose based on majority benefits, that is not the right option certainly as such trade off will lead to later problems like Naxalism, climate change, etc. Here is where the choice must include blending of all options, and simultaneously minimizing the harm for all the stakeholders.

This can be achieved by conducting environmental impact assessment (EIA) and social impact assessment (SIA), planning the compensatory afforestation (CAMPA), before the project. Besides minimizing harm through these mechanisms, it is also necessary to maximize welfare by distributing benefits through tribal rehabilitation & welfare program like JANMAN, etc.

In the above case, not only were the choices blended to grey, but also our value priorities got reshuffled. Initially, the justice was seen from a utilitarian perspective, i.e. benefits for majority, which was given the foremost priority. But the right choice not only shared the benefits among all, but also minimized the harm to the minorities. This shifted our value priority from majority benefits to equity-based justice, upholding the true essence of democratic justice!

In an ethical dilemma, an individual with wavering mind cannot choose the right alternative. It is necessary for the mind to be calm and composed just like how Shri Krishna preached in Bhagavad Gita – Yoga Samatvam Uchhate (Equanimity is Yoga). Only at such state can the self-introspection be effectively done, reshuffle value priorities accordingly, and then make an assertive choice.

Besides equanimity, one must also muster the courage to face the consequences of one's choice, just like how Jesus Christ did. He got crucified (nailed in the cross) for choosing to propagate the truth and love through his teachings, and he graciously welcomed it. He not only took the responsibility to choose the right path, but also withstood political retaliation, forgiving them for it.

The unimaginable power of free will in the world of abundant choices comes with an undeniable responsibility to choose wisely for universal benefits. In an ethical dilemma, an unshakable mind must look inside and re-order the value system before making the right choice. And such right choice is not devoid of negatives; but demands us to face the consequences with a grit, helping us become a wise & a resilient leader – leading not only the self, but also the world!

For the sake of democracy, let us debate. Do comment your views below!

A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ship is for

 

The “Ford v Ferrari” movie shows a scene where a customer complains the mechanic about his ailing race car. The real reason for its ailment was due to its slow ride in streets and preservation in garage. For a race car, that amounts to inactivity. This paradox is well explained by the mechanic's emotional reply to the customer. He said, a race car is not supposed to be handled like a passenger's car. Its place is in the tracks and not in the garage!

This scene clearly brings out the truth about the potential, i.e. unless something is used up to its potential, it becomes useless and ailing. This applies not only for a race car or a ship, but also for humans! This essay will explore this phenomenon in depth, further pondering on why to break free of safe harbour and what it takes to do so.

Let the voyage begin!

Destiny awaits outside

Almost everyone believes in destiny. They often equate it to destination. Some call it a dream, some refer to it as ambition, some see it as a duty, while others as a milestone. Whatever the destination is called as, doesn’t matter. What truly matters is the choice to step out of the safe harbour we are provided by our birth, or a template life imposed on us by the society. This choice is what kickstarts our pursuit to destiny. And this pursuit brings out all our potential, expressing our true selves in such a journey. Many legends and greats have demonstrated this!

According to the legend, when the greatest warrior of Greek Mythology, Achilles, was called for war against Troy, he hesitated at first. His mother gave him two choices – To fight for his country and become a martyr, and be remembered forever. Or to forfeit his responsibility, be safe at home, marry, and let his name get forgotten in his family lineage. The moment he chose to set sail towards Troy, leaving his safe harbour, was the moment he truly became the warrior he was meant to be, and rest is legendary!

Besides mythology, even in real world, there is no shortage of such warriors, especially in India. The Prince of Shakya clan, Siddhartha, also had to face such dilemma 2500 years ago. He can either continue his luxurious princely life, or renounce that to walk into the path in search of enlightenment. And his choice to step out of the safe harbour of his kingdom turned him into “the Buddha”, the enlightened one.

Down the history, in mid-19^th century, a young widow who was a trained warrior was made to choose between two options. One wanted her to relinquish her kingdom and go to Kasi Yatra. And the other wanted her to fight for her country as the Queen against British. And her bold choice gave us the great Rani Lakshmi Bai, who we see as the icon of “revolt of 1857” even today.

Similarly, in this modern age, another bold woman had to break her safe harbour of traditional women’s life to achieve what was considered a men's sport back then. She was Mary Kom, our country's living legend, 6-times boxing world champion who redefined women's role in sports.

All these greats had tremendous potential. But their choice to step out of the safe harbour is what brought it outside, inspiring many. Such choice not only forfeits safety, but also breaks the predictability of life because the journey of a ship, despite map and a compass, is always unsure of the obstacles in the path. While the map shows the path to our destination and the compass is our morality, there is a need for something more for the ship to set the sail for the voyage. It is called “the grit” in the face of uncertainty.

Opportunity in uncertainty

While people are aware of the destiny as said before, still, they are unwilling to pursue it. This is simply because in this age of instant results, they lack the grit to face the uncertainty of the journey. This not only deters them from reaching their goal, but also makes them settle for something less than their potential. If the greats mentioned earlier had forfeited their journey due to fear of uncertainty, they would not have been celebrated now.

To endure the uncertainty, it should be viewed as a privilege rather than mere obstacle. “Adversity is a privilege”, as quoted by Alexander Volkanovski who came from 2 consecutive losses and won back his MMA championship title in UFC. He said how the adversity of uncertainty caused by his previous consecutive losses in his MMA journey, made him not only a stronger person in that sport, but also in life. So, it is not always the destination that makes one great. It is the journey that holds the utmost significance in shaping and preparing one for greatness.

“The Alchemist”, a popular novel by Paulo Coelho, also demonstrates the importance of sailing, i.e. journey. The shepherd has to go on a dangerous journey to achieve his dream of finding a treasure. After traveling around the world, encountering numerous weird adventures, he realizes that the treasure was buried, hidden in his home, right where he started. Just like a ship reaching back to its harbour, he came back home for his treasure after his journey.

While people may think that the whole journey is pointless, the author contradicts that thought sharply. If he had searched the safe harbour i.e. his home at the start, he might have been sparred of the dangers of that journey. While he might have got the gold, but he would have missed the real treasure, which is the journey itself!

While the destination here, the gold is just a symbolic treasure. The journey that gave him the experience, resilience, and brought out his true potential, is the true treasure. That kind of wisdom earned from journey is what helps him to handle the responsibilities of his future life. Perhaps, if the author plans to write a sequel for his novel in name of “the Alchemist volume-2”, he might show us how the journey prepared the shepherd to responsibly use his symbolic treasure, the gold, for the welfare of the society without being carried away by its glitters in greed!

We humans, like ships, are not meant to stay safe in the harbour, but to utilize our potential to reach our destiny. And destiny requires a captain to not only muster the courage to take off from the harbour, but also develop the grit to endure the uncertainties of the journey, shedding off all fears. And the journey not only makes one resilient, but also prepares one to handle the gold that is offered by the destination for the welfare of all. While this has been demonstrated by legends and greats throughout the history, now it is our time to make history. Let us leave our harbour, begin our sail to Viksit Bharat!

Share the story of your Voyage in the comments below!

Not all who wander are lost

 

       

        Not all who wander are lost…. A purposeful paradox captured by this beautiful poetic line. One may think of wandering as non-purposeful act. But many wanderers are seekers of something that they might not possess. Many get lost in the process while others survive. Some also re-find their self. This essay intends to gradually explore all those dimensions.

Many define wandering as where the eyes see, the legs go. But it will be a narrow view if the wandering is confined to such a physical dimension.

          It in fact extends beyond what eyes could see! Not speaking about the blind, but about our mind. Mind is so powerful that it can take us beyond our vision to the imagination or a step beyond it to the metaphysical world (spiritual experience or journey).

          In general, the wandering is associated with a purpose to find something or to search for something that is lost. But sometimes, wandering itself is to find a purpose. Such wandering is called as self-actualization, something that we think is a spiritual department and not for commoners. If you think so, you might be wrong!

          Self-actualization is something everyone must strive to attain, that is, to find a purpose in life. This can be done by analysing and self-evaluating one’s past to find our strengths and weaknesses and determine what one can do meaningfully in this life. Thus, to do that, wandering becomes necessary.

Where to wander?

          Most of the seekers in the ancient times do go for a physical journey to distant lands to seek understanding of their purpose. They try to find a spiritual guru for guidance. One such example was our national hero Swami Vivekananda, who found his guru in Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, which later led him to give the spiritual call for India to awake!

          Consider the India visit by Steve Jobs before finding Apple. He said that the simplicity and minimalism preached by the Indian philosophy, gave birth to his Apple company.

          But such spiritual travels need not be done physically anymore in this modern-technocratic era. The social media becomes a repository of spiritual knowledge giving us not one, but many online gurus for guidance.

The learning does not need to be through physical preaching, but could be through online seminars, audio-video means, as well as through e-books. One can go through many, if not vast ocean of resources in this online world.

But still, if the compass is lost, the forest turns into a maze.

Might go lost

          Just like a ship left in the middle of a vast ocean without a map, so can be the people who lose themselves in the puzzle posed by the social media jungle.

          The purpose to use the social media is like a compass for the user who sails through. Once that compass is lost, so is the captain! Once upon a time, we started using social media to share our happiness with others by sharing our achievements. But now it turned into an obsession to post content and seek constant validation, thus losing the self in it. Now people plant trees not intending to conserve it, but to post its picture and get likes. Once the seeker of and with purpose, now reduced into merely self-obsessed showpiece!

This takes a catastrophic turn when the validation is attained no more, leading to mental health issues and deterring the quality of life.

But fortunately, this is not the case for all.

Not all go lost

“Captains with compass, sails through the ocean!”.

Everyone who intends to wander must have a moral compass and their purpose mapped. Even if an artist wander on streets for ideas, the morality is the one that lets him/her resist temptations and seek what s/he came for. Similarly in the social media, the self-control acts as a moral compass and the purpose gives one the tunnel vision to look for what is necessary for the self in this ocean rather than what can possibly be attained in random.

One such example is the online education or research. There are free lectures and research papers available from many top universities in the world like MIT, Harvard University, etc. This can help students access content at virtually zero cost. Even the internet is free in India through BharatNet. The wise will voluntarily search for specific video or material rather than letting the algorithm to recommend/decide on behalf.

Similarly, spiritual wandering can also be through online. But the challenge is posed when the Web algorithm markets one specific ideology repeatedly making it more attractive. This increases the chances of getting carried away by such one which may or may not suit the self. The wisdom alone helps one to understand that spirituality is contextual and situational. There is no one-size-fits-all approach as everyone's experience is vivid and different.

This understanding about the spirituality becomes the core for the captains to not get lost in their journey. Such people won’t be carried away by any one ideology but deeply reflect on if that fits their situation well or not. Mahatma Gandhi was one such person who experimented with different value system while wandering, eventually finding what suits him the best, which was ‘Ahimsa’.

Many seekers in India now mimic the same. They seek for information from many sources taking what is useful for them and discarding the rest, as once said by Bruce Lee.

But how much ever these captains sail through successfully to attain self-realization, India cannot become enlightened unless those who were lost are found again!

Find the lost

          To find the lost back, it is necessary to search for them in the place where we lost them and to find what made us lose them.

          When lost physically, a search and rescue team can be sent to the exact location to find the wanderers, like a police complaint or military action could help. But this becomes challenging in the social network world due to its vastness compared to the physical space.

Since a person is carried away by the glitters of social media, the first enemy is the emotions that responds to those glitters. One such emotion, as discussed before is the ‘lust of validation’, or called as the ‘fear of insignificance’. It makes one forget the purpose of self-realization and pulls into a ‘circus of visibility’. Constantly seeking visibility gives subtle time for self-evaluation and discovery. It, in fact, dilutes the mental as well as the physical health of oneself.

Another issue is the click-bait. The random scrolling of content and clicking on random videos is a trap. One must be aware of the difference between curiosity and temptations. Curiosity is something that helps in deeper learning but temptation deviates one from actual content one searched for.

So, there is need for awareness on responsible use of social media. Parents must restrict their children’s screen time, set timers, and switch off recommendations. Meditations must be taught to kids from a young age to channelise their thoughts, control their desires and move towards self-realisation of their goal in life.

Although wandering starts from the eyes and legs, it is the mind that determines if one is lost or not. From music to MNC, education to enlightenment, all of them may have started wandering barefooted, but it was their mind that led them channel their thoughts into action. Their self-control and tunnel vision of purpose made their sail easy. Even the lost one can be found when the click-bait temptations are turned into purposeful curiosity. When we start to seek reforms in our mind and not elsewhere, that is when the wanderers become yogis!  

 Lets me know your perspective on the comment section!